The Benefits of Slowing Down

Can slowing down make us more productive?

Author’s note: I apologize for sending this out Friday rather than the usual Thursday.

I used to rush through life. I rushed to the store. I rushed to the mall. I rushed through tasks. If I was reading, I was rushing. If I was writing, I was rushing. If I was doing marketing work for my old job, I was rushing.

I thought all of this rushing was helping me to get more done. But now I think the opposite. While I'm still no expert, lately I've been slowly learning to slow down. And when I do, I find that the benefits are enormous.

Benefit #1: Slowing Down Makes Life Richer

Over the past few months, I've started to slow down more in order to consciously enjoy life. The results have been amazing. Everything seems richer and more vibrant than I had previously noticed. I can savor the tart sweetness of a blueberry exploding in my mouth. I go for walks and find myself captivated by the interplay of clouds in a storm, or by the red light gilding a cloud as the sun sinks below the horizon. I listen to music and find myself captivated by the lyrics and the melodies.

More than that, I feel myself more and more transported into the state of transcendent awe that I think is the only logical response to living in a world this beautiful.

I'm certainly not blind to the pain and darkness of the world. I spent decades living it. But for all of that darkness, I think we live in paradise. The smallest stone on a gravel path is an absolute work of art. I wonder how many of us rush through life so fast that we don't see it.

Benefit #2: It Improves My Relationships

I used to struggle to be present with people. No matter how much I valued someone, if we were talking I was usually on my phone. If we were playing a turn-based board game, I would try to squeeze in something I thought was useful while the other player(s) went.

But as I've become more present, I think I've become a better friend. A better son, a better family member. A better husband. When I slow down and am consciously present with the person I'm talking to, without letting my ego jump ahead and try to plan my day or multitask, I can better see them. I can see their radiant essence, and the incredible and beautiful and multifaceted nature of their soul.

Sometimes I can feel their True Identity, and whatever it is that's holding them back. Some of those times, I can feel the exact right thing to say to get them unstuck. Those are, if I'm being honest, some of my favorite conversations. But they are only possible when I am slowed down enough to be fully in the moment.

Other times, my interlocutor and I simply have a better and deeper and richer conversation than we would have had if I was trying to rush it or letting myself be distracted.

I've found that slowing down has helped my relationships in another way too. Last year, my wife and I were at someone's house, hanging out and chatting with them. I felt like we had to go. I was impatient. But here's the thing—it was a Sunday. Neither of us had anywhere important to be. So why was I impatient? My wife is highly empathetic, and she could feel my agitation. It put a damper on the interaction.

That kind of thing used to happen a lot.

But when I read C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, one particular letter jumped out at me. I cannot find it again, and perhaps this was a case of the Holy Spirit intervening to tell me what I needed to hear; but the letter seemed to me to be about impatience. From it I took away the idea that my time wasn't really mine, any more than my money was mine. They were resources gifted to me by God. I was only their steward. As such, my role was not to clutch at them with white knuckles, but rather to use them as God intended me to use them.

Since then I've become far less impatient when my wife (or another friend or family member) wants to prolong a conversation or an event. If our plan was to leave at 6pm, and my wife is still chatting at 6:05pm, then I'll simply pray: "God, what do you want me to do in this situation?" Sometimes the answer that comes back really is "You need to leave now so you won't be late to something else"---in which case I'll gently remind my wife that we have somewhere we need to be. But far more often, the answer is "Relax, and enjoy yourself. Talk to these people more. Give it 10 minutes, then check in with me again."

This perspective—of my time as merely a resource from God for me to steward, and therefore not something to grip too tightly—has brought me peace. It has made me more calm and more flexible when engagements run long. It has made me a better husband and a better friend.

Benefit #3: Slowing Down Makes Me More Productive

I'll reiterate that I'm no expert at slowness. But as I've consciously worked to slow down, I find that my productivity has exploded. A year ago I could write 3,000-4,000 words of nonfiction in an average week. Now I write between 5,000 and 10,000 words per week. My fiction writing (I generally write fiction for around 15 hours per week) is less easy to track, but my progress through the story I'm writing has improved dramatically as I've focused on slowing down.

Why did this happen? I think slowing down has helped me to tap into the deeper wisdom of God (or Spirit, Source, the Universe, my highest self, etc). As Tim Gallwey writes in The Inner Game of Stress:

"The Inner Game is based on two propositions. First, that we all have inner resources beyond what we realize. And second, that we get in the way of using those resources more than we would like to admit."

Gallwey posits two selves: a Self 1 and a Self 2. Self 1 is the part of us that criticizes, that judges, that worries. It's the anger and fear that can wrap us like spiderwebs. It is, generally speaking, what I call the False Self.

Self 2 is the voice of wisdom. Call it God or call it Spirit or simply call it our higher selves, but it is far more intelligent than Self 1. As Gallway writes, "The problem in tennis—and, I came to see, in life—was that Self 1 was like a dime-store calculator trying to run the show, and in the process getting in the way of the performance of a billion-dollar super computer, Self 2."

What I found as I slowed down was that I was able to connect more fully with the infinite wisdom and intellect of God (or Self 2). This connection seems to only be possible in the present moment. As I meditate and pray, as I breathe deeply and identify less with my worries about time, I can hear better the still small voice. My best ideas, it seems, can only be received in stillness. 

Of course, I'm lucky: I'm a writer, and so there are very few times when I need to rush. It is rare indeed that I need to finish something within 5 minutes. But even in situations where time is measured in seconds or fractions of a second, I find it helpful to slow down. When I'm sparring in martial arts, for example, slowing down seems to widen my possibilities and deepen my ability to hear from God. Even when the world around me is moving very fast, I find my performance gets better when I slow down.

So here's our action item for the week. At least one time this week, consciously slow down. Breathe deeply, and try to be present to the moment.

And then see what opens up.

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