Is God A Totem…Or A Relationship?
I think there are two ways that most folks see God in our culture.
Author’s note: I apologize for sending this out on Friday instead of Thursday.
I think, broadly speaking, there are two ways that most folks see God in our culture.
The first is what we might call the "totem" view. This view sees God as a spiritual object or a spiritual figure in the sky, as someone or something that is very distant. In The Divine Conspiracy, Christian theologian Dallas Willard criticizes what he calls "bar-code faith:" the idea that God is just a figure whom we worship in order to get into Heaven. He argues that this view is somewhat pervasive among Christians (at least in the United States). In With, pastor and teacher Skye Jethani talks about how many of his students live "For" God. They do incredible things, like founding churches or going on missions, because they feel like that's what they *should* be doing to serve God. They don't really have a relationship with Him (though not for lack of desire); instead, they spend their whole lives trying to please Him by divining (but not directly asking) what He would want them to do. I think the folks that Willard and Jethani are describing fall neatly into the "totem" view.
(I'm pointing out the trend to see God as a totem among Christians, because I know my own; but unless the Church is peculiarly totem-focused, I suspect that a lot of religious teachers in every tradition can inadvertently encourage their followers to see God as someone way the heck up there. I've certainly been tempted to see God this way myself in the past).
So what describes the "totem" way of viewing God? I think when we see God as a totem, we:
- see God as a very distant figure.
- believe that we may not meet God until the afterlife.
- see God as someone who we do things for…but not someone with whom we actually have a relationship.
- When we pray, we suspect that something or someone has heard us…but we rarely hear back. If we do perceive that God has answered our prayer, it's in a way that feels similar to chance. It's like we're looking hard for something that may not be there.
I'm certainly not criticizing this way of seeing God. For one thing, no less a thinker than Blaise Pascal suggested that we should believe in God in order to get into Heaven. I never found that reason alone particularly persuasive, but I can hardly fault the intelligence of its adherents. For another, it takes tremendous faith to believe in a totem God. Throughout the Bible, God consistently praises faith; and while I'm less familiar with some other religions, I've never heard of a God who denigrated the faith of His (or Her, Its, etc) followers.
But I also think there's another way to conceptualize God. This other way has brought me far more joy, peace, love, and connection than the times in my life when I've adopted the totem view. This way is to view God as a being with whom we can enter into a relationship. I think the central dividing line between viewing God as a totem versus viewing God as a being with whom we can be in relationship is this: if we point our attention towards God and ask a specific kind of question, do we hear something back?
While I'm far from an expert on being in relationship with God, I'll point out two areas of clarification on which I think I've developed a handle.
First, it's been my experience that not all questions are created equal. When I ask God "Why?" questions (e.g. "Why did I lose this job?"), I usually don't hear an answer. I suspect one reason is that the full and complete answer, if God were to share it with me, would be outside the range of what my mind could comprehend.
Questions that I ask that typically receive a response:
"What do you want me to know about XYZ?" (ex. "What do you most want me to know about myself right now?" or "I'm struggling with understanding my friend who's in crisis. What do you want me to know about him?")
"What do you want me to do about XYZ?" (ex. "I'm not sure how I'll make rent next month. What do you want me to do about this situation?")
"What do you call me?" (ex. "What is my true identity?" or "What is the name you gave me when I was knit together in my mother's womb?")
The second clarification I've been slowly learning is that when I ask God a question, the answer should come in what a spiritual director friend of mine calls "God's tone." That is: if I orient myself towards God and ask Him a question, then I can't predict what I will hear. But I can predict *how* he will speak to me: in a tone of infinite love, peace, connection, and joy. If I hear an answer that's angry, depressed, snappy, or mad at me for asking the question, then that's a clear sign that my False Self is dressing up as God and trying to hijack the process (when this happens, meditation can help me to clear out my negative thoughts so I can better hear from the still small voice).
If you see God as a totem, I'm certainly not denigrating that. But if you've never thought of God as someone with whom you could have a consistent, day-in-day-out relationship, then I humbly suggest that God may have more on offer for you than you realize.
So here's our action item for this week. Point your attention towards God (or Spirit, Source, Infinite Intelligence, the Universe, etc) and ask Him a question. And then notice what you hear.
And, if you hear an answer in God's tone, and you decide that you liked this experience of hearing from God, then consider the possibility that He might never get tired of answering the right kinds of questions.
Heal the West is 100% reader-supported. If you enjoyed this article, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription or becoming a founding member. Your support is greatly appreciated.