I’m so grateful to you for sharing this perspective. I’m in the midst of a tension with a dear friend due in part to my own misguided actions. Sure, I can see that the situation is not entirely my fault and there are other factors at play, but it’s impossible to ignore my own role in bringing us to this place. That Solzhenitsyn quote is one of my favorites, and now I’m getting the chance to truly live it out. She’s been so gracious with me, still endeavoring to maintain contact despite hard feelings, and I find myself wishing sometimes she’d just go heal on her own for a while. It’s clear that I don’t like being reminded of how I hurt her, and it causes a part of me to want to disengage entirely. It’s important (but not easy) that I ignore this self-serving impulse and instead choose to hold the tension and continue repairing what was broken. I pray that your relationship with “Emily” improves, but even if it doesn’t, I wish you continued peace for having chosen humility and forgiveness over avoidance and pride.
So eloquently articulated. I have done a lot of writing on reconciliation myself. It is not easy and it takes a tremendous amount of courage. Thank you for bringing your story into the light.✨✨
Thanks for this piece here, Julian, I appreciate your candor in sharing some of the complexities in play when questioning paths forward in relationships with troubled pasts. I particularly liked your bit in there on forgiveness. I'm currently reading Timothy Keller's book, Forgive, and simply love his examination of the concept. Even putting aside his anchoring of the concept in Christianity, it's an intellectually provocative and emotionally stirring examination of the idea, taking to task false versions (both psychologically and culturally) and pointing to the deeper healing available through that route. Anyway, back to your piece here, thanks again for advocating the mature route of bridge building while also being mindful of the risks and rewards for both sides that follow.
Forgive was shared with me by a mentor in response to my request for helpful readings that inquire more deeply into the nexus of spiritual and psychological health dynamics, and do so in ways that honor and respect critical examination of the concepts and reasons/rationales explored.
As somebody who was raised Methodist, then went Atheist/Scientific Materialist, then mystical/Zen, then spiritual nomad, and now perhaps returning to my Christian roots but at a higher octave of wisdom and maturity (hopefully!), I'm deeply appreciative of Keller's willingness to both start and end with "It comes down to Jesus on the cross," AND then giving some very compelling analyses and articulations of the how's, why's, and so what's that bridge his supposition and conclusion in a way that satisfies my intellect, my heart, and my spirit too.
Your writings are similarly compelling on those 3 levels, so again, thank you.<3
I’m so grateful to you for sharing this perspective. I’m in the midst of a tension with a dear friend due in part to my own misguided actions. Sure, I can see that the situation is not entirely my fault and there are other factors at play, but it’s impossible to ignore my own role in bringing us to this place. That Solzhenitsyn quote is one of my favorites, and now I’m getting the chance to truly live it out. She’s been so gracious with me, still endeavoring to maintain contact despite hard feelings, and I find myself wishing sometimes she’d just go heal on her own for a while. It’s clear that I don’t like being reminded of how I hurt her, and it causes a part of me to want to disengage entirely. It’s important (but not easy) that I ignore this self-serving impulse and instead choose to hold the tension and continue repairing what was broken. I pray that your relationship with “Emily” improves, but even if it doesn’t, I wish you continued peace for having chosen humility and forgiveness over avoidance and pride.
Thank you so much <3
So eloquently articulated. I have done a lot of writing on reconciliation myself. It is not easy and it takes a tremendous amount of courage. Thank you for bringing your story into the light.✨✨
<3
Thanks for this piece here, Julian, I appreciate your candor in sharing some of the complexities in play when questioning paths forward in relationships with troubled pasts. I particularly liked your bit in there on forgiveness. I'm currently reading Timothy Keller's book, Forgive, and simply love his examination of the concept. Even putting aside his anchoring of the concept in Christianity, it's an intellectually provocative and emotionally stirring examination of the idea, taking to task false versions (both psychologically and culturally) and pointing to the deeper healing available through that route. Anyway, back to your piece here, thanks again for advocating the mature route of bridge building while also being mindful of the risks and rewards for both sides that follow.
Thank you <3
I'm curious: what made you pick up Forgive?
Hi Julian,
Forgive was shared with me by a mentor in response to my request for helpful readings that inquire more deeply into the nexus of spiritual and psychological health dynamics, and do so in ways that honor and respect critical examination of the concepts and reasons/rationales explored.
As somebody who was raised Methodist, then went Atheist/Scientific Materialist, then mystical/Zen, then spiritual nomad, and now perhaps returning to my Christian roots but at a higher octave of wisdom and maturity (hopefully!), I'm deeply appreciative of Keller's willingness to both start and end with "It comes down to Jesus on the cross," AND then giving some very compelling analyses and articulations of the how's, why's, and so what's that bridge his supposition and conclusion in a way that satisfies my intellect, my heart, and my spirit too.
Your writings are similarly compelling on those 3 levels, so again, thank you.<3
That sounds wonderful, glad to hear it!
And thank you <3